Well...I'm the dad of 4 kids

What a night! So, we meet the guide and head to the adoption center where it will all "go down". I want to go back and get a picture of the building...I mean, if you were walking down the street you never would have thought this hole in the wall, office space in a dirty downtown row of shops and vendors was a government run adoption department. I forgot to snap the picture on the way in, and the way out was more like a hostage evacuation so no time for pictures...but I don't want to get ahead of myself.

We walk into the dark, open office space and head to the elevator. I'm lagging a little behind Stef and Graham who are already in the elevator when a man starts yelling at me...I figured he wanted us to hold the elevator, so that's what I do. I gets in, and then there is sudden mahem...all I here is "your baby"...I fumble for the camera, and snap a quick picture as in walks Maggie with her foster mother! The next 45 seconds were a really, really odd elevator ride as everyone is staring at each other, and Maggie is obviously anxious.

Then we go into the room where we are supposed to have our "gotcha" moment. It was really, pretty nice...at first anyway. We had a great meeting with the foster mother, asked a bunch of questions and generally, had a great conversation...translated, of course. She seems to be a very nice lady and really, really cared for Maggie. She had Maggie since Maggie was 44 days old, and they've nicknamed her Tao Tao. She send Maggie to us with some pictures, a backpack, and a red sweater outfit that she had knited her all stuffed into a plastic bag...and the 18 lbs of cloths that Maggie was wearing.

All went well until she left...then it got rough, really rough. Maggie was devastated. It makes me want to cry as I type thinking about how heart broken she was and how scared she must have been. The foster mother said that Maggie was fully aware of what was happening. And she was loud...and persistent...and strong. Stef held her while I signed some documents. I must admit that I could tell, even though they were Chinese characters, that Stef was going to have to sign too...which meant I had to hold Maggie who was crying, screaming, kicking...and I was intimidated. Anyway, I didn't have a choice, and to my surprise, she calmed down a bit when I held her. Then we left...and Maggie was a mess again. We rushed onto the dark street, and into the van as the crowd on the sidewalk grew. I was a mess of nerves, though I didn't admit it until Stef told me that she felt like she could throw up...and I confessed that I could too.

We needed diapers, formula and supplies. I was unable to find the Walmart...which is across the street from our hotel...earlier, so one of us had to take Maggie to the hotel...the other went shopping. I handed Stef my wallet. (Un)fortunately, Maggie did pretty well when I held her and Stef was the first to admit that she was ready to puke, so I was on Maggie duty. I recruited Graham, who was a trooper, to help me with her and we sent Stef shopping.

We tried to give her candy, crackers, cheerios, toys, crafts, dolls, money...anything...and she wanted nothing that had anything to do with us. We left her alone, and the poor thing tried to wiggle into the space between the bedside table and bed in an attempt to get away from us and hide. I decided to give her space but the crying got the best of me. I mean, a dad wants to hold and sooth their child...so I tried...but I only made the situation worse. I put her down again, and then Stef showed up and I was glad to have a wingman, not that either of us knew what to do, but at least we could mess everything up together.

Eventually, Maggie packed her belongings in her plastic bag and moved to the hallway leading to the door, and stayed there. If we didn't look at her, she might look at us, but that was about it. She tried to "escape" and I told Stef not to worry because the door was too heavy for her to open. Then I got up to pull Maggies fingers out of the door jam...and locked the door...and closed the latch. I'll figure this out eventually...

Maggie was crying for her dad...and then she pooped on the potty. Apparently, the word for "I have to poop" and "dad" are similar and I didn't pick up on the nuances of a 3 year old's Chinese...huh...I bet a Chinese woman came up with that word.

She stayed in her hall until she found her picture book. She opened it and laughed, and Graham took another picture book to her, and suddenly the dam began to break. We laughed, as she laughed. She pointed to pictures of her foster family and "told" Graham all about their likes, dislikes, personalities, games she likes to play with them, etc. Problem was that it was all in Chinese....

About that time, we skyped with family back home. It was really good to see Davis and Corinne. We miss them so much. She sort of ignored the computer screen until one of them would yell "Tao Tao"...and then she would glace at the screen. She absolutely knew that the kids taking to her were "supposed" to be her brother and sister, and recognized them from the pictures. Of course, she did her best to ignore them too...even putting the picture book over her face. As we talked, Maggie worked her way back into the room and all was well, relatively, until it was diaper time. She knew that a diaper meant she was staying the night...she cried, packed up her things and headed back to to the door.

Well, we eventually worked her into a crib that sits by the bed. Right now, she's sleeping in her 18 lbs of cloths with her plastic bag of stuff and picture books. Dear God, let her sleep. She needs it and we need it.

Two last thoughts...as hard as it is, I am thankful that she is grieving as it means she knows how to attach. Over time, she will with us too. Second, I really appreciate having Graham with us. He's great to watch in China, generally (he's so comfortable that he wanted to go outside the hotel by himself to fly his remote control helicopter), but he also is really, really great with and for Maggie right now.

Pictures tomorrow...way to tired right now...maybe well have them up for you to see on your Sunday night.

Brook