Corinne was diagnosed with scoliosis 18 months ago. She has been followed by the orthopedic every 6 months. Her last x-ray revealed that her curvature had reached a point that she needed to start being braced. Currently her curve is at 30 degrees. This week she and I went to pick up her new brace. Corinne is usually a very compliant patient. It is not that she wasn't compliant at her brace visit but she "knew". She knew this brace was "stinky". And let me tell you it is stinky! The doctor wants her to build up to wearing it 16 hours in a 24 hour time period. Initially they say let her wear it for a few hours at a time and adding an hour. We came home and I put it on her. I didn't let her see me cry. I went in the bathroom and sat and just cried. It was a pitiful sight to see her in the brace. I had put it on and put a t-shirt over it. She looked totally disfigured. They had added extra padding to the brace near her shoulder blade. It makes it look like she has a hump on her back. She can not walk nor stand normal in the brace. My prayer is that she can learn to sleep in the brace. Some kids can. If she can put it on in the afternoon and wear it till morning we can get the 16 hours in. I will not make her wear it to preschool - that would be sooo unfair.
Yesterday I just sat and thought "why god". Why does this sweet baby girl have to endure something else "broken" in her body. Isn't that the famous question most of ask when we see suffering. The only answer that makes sense to me is this. In my childrens story book bible it says "when sin entered the world the world broke" It goes on to say creation would start to unravel, and come undone, and go wrong. That is the answer to the why question. That seems so simple. Makes you think "thats it", but that is how awful sin is. And if that is how awful sin is then God must be so unbelievably incomprehensibly Holy.
If you are reading this then I want you to ask yourself something. Is there a child, a medically needy child, we can adopt or help care for? These orphans need families. If Corinne had not been adopted she would of never been treated for hearing loss, never had her palate(vpi) surgery, never learn to speak clearly, never have her heart valve replaced, never treated for scoliosis. So where would that have left her? Maybe she would die because her leaky valve would damage her already enlarged right ventricle so much that it would give out. Or Maybe she would eventually look like this.
She most defianlty wouldn't of received hearing aids in China - so what sounds she would of never heard. Maybe her caretakers would of considered her slow or mentally impaired due to poor speech. I don't know but the important thing is that is not her future. She has a future because of adoption. Instead she looks like this (singing Ariel theme song while dancing with her brother decked out in her dance costume)
I am not trying to put my family on a pedestal and say look at the wonderful thing we did. No not at all. I use to be scared of Corinne's medical report, but God changed all that. He has replaced my heart of stone with a heart of love for special needs orphans. I don't know what God's plan is for Corinne's life. What I do know is our family gets the privilege of watching her grow up and see her grow into the beautiful woman God has created her to be. She is special but not because of her medical report.
There are sooooo many kids like Corinne who need a mom and dad that need medical help. Won't you consider bringing one into your family?
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I love you Stef! You are amazing and such a blessing!
ReplyDeleteGreat post Stephanie. I'm sorry that Corrine is having to wear the brace but thankful that she has the opportunity.
ReplyDeleteHi Stef! We've been out of town and I just read your post... I'm so sorry, I can't imagine how hard that was, I just wished I could have sat in the bathroom with you and cried too.
ReplyDeleteYou're an amazing mom and God has entrusted you with a beautiful treasure... You're right, she is so special because of who God has specially designed her to be! I love you!
I love that sweet girl so much! I'm so sorry you have to watch her/help her go through this...Sin just really sucks! The hard part for me in this is realizing that I'm a huge part of that sin. I'm no better than Adam and Eve were and because of that, we are all to blame for this "stinkiness" that sin brings about. Through all of that, though, I have to cling to the vision of precious Corinne (and all the children) dancing with our Lord one day...completely WHOLE. No braces, no glasses, no hearing aids, no lack of self worth, no bruises, no scars, no fears, no tears, no sadness, no loneliness, no hunger, no heartache.
ReplyDeleteI'm always here for you all...and her! Can't wait to celebrate her turning 5!!!
I've stopped in to visit your blog here and there over time, but not sure if I've ever commented. I so appreciate your posts though.
ReplyDeleteYour views on this subject are my own. Your thoughts are my own. Seeing our children (or any child, for that matter) suffer is SO hard. It's difficult to comprehend 'why' sometimes...but I think your children's bible story book put it perfectly when it said that sin came in and 'broke' the world. SO truly sad..but oh, SO TRUE! (what story book is that, btw?...it sounds like a good one that I might want to purchase for Khloe for when she is home.)
I'm praying for your precious daughter and that she heals quicker than the doctors have estimated. I had a milder case of scoliosis as a teenager. I went through regular physical therapy and did all the exercises I was given to do. Eventually, it pretty much corrected itself, because I was still young and my bones were softer. Bones heal quicker in children, and I will be praying that sweet Corinne's back heals quickly, too! All glory to GOD!!
And thank you for petitioning others to step up and answer the call. Like yourself, the words 'special needs' used to scare me. The unknowns. How it might 'inconvenience' my simple life. How was that way of thinking loving like Jesus, seeing the way He sees all of his children?! It wasn't...and I praise him for opening my eyes! I ditto what you said: "He has replaced my heart of stone with a heart of love for special needs orphans." ...AMEN sister!!! <><
God bless!
~Tanya